WASHINGTON, DC – Following news that his friend Roger Stone was arrested as part of the Mueller investigation, president Donald Trump took to Twitter to lament quite possibly the biggest mistake of his 2016 presidential campaign: not hiring Hillary Clinton, so he could finally lock her up. Speaking to his comrades on Fox and Friends, […] More
In the information age of today, it’s not uncommon for us to encounter something online that we disagree with. Often, we find things that make us uncomfortable or seem to attack a core value we hold closely to our hearts. Take spanking children as a form of discipline, for instance. Anytime you post studies about […] More
A Science Enthusiast is taking the rare step of publishing an anonymous Op-Ed essay. We have done so at the request of the author, a senior official on the Death Star whose identity is known to us and whose job would be jeopardized by its disclosure. That is why we have blurred his face. We believe […] More
WASHINGTON, DC – On the heels of Michael Cohen’s guilty plea, the Department of Justice is rumored to be discussing whether or not they should charge president Donald Trump as an adult once he’s formally indicted. “It’s really not a matter of if we’re going to indict president Trump, but a matter of how we go about doing it,” […] More
NEW YORK, NEW YORK – A survey of Twitter users who have posted content with using the “MAGA” hashtag has revealed that, contrary to popular belief, the “MAGA” slogan actually stands for “My Attorney Got Arrested.” Get the SPACE FORCE shirt for 20% off for a limited time in our store! The news comes as […] More
VATICAN CITY, ITALY – God has issued an apology after a series of old statements in which he joked about topics including pedophilia and rape resurfaced — and resulted in Christians everywhere severing ties with the holy father. The move comes as other public figures, such as James Gunn, face public backlash over statements they […] More
WASHINGTON, DC – After an unprecedented summit in Helsinki with Russian President Vladimir Putin on Monday, members of Congress have taken to Twitter to express their utter outrage with how President Donald Trump handled the Russian autocrat. Critics of Trump were quick to condemn him for what seemed to be a lack of support in […] More
FLINT, MI – Following the resignation of a twerp who never should have been appointed as head of the EPA in the first place, Donald Trump announced today that Pruitt’s successor will be a glass of tap water from the city of Flint, Michigan. Local residents were shocked by the decision, as both the ‘leader […] More
WASHINGTON, DC – President Donald Trump took to Twitter today to announce that he has chosen Saul Goodman as his candidate to fill the vacancy on the US Supreme Court. Trump later elaborated on his decision to make such a controversial pick in an impromptu press conference held on the White House lawn: “Saul has […] More
CAPE CANAVERAL, FL – In a press conference today, administrators at NASA announced the much-anticipated results of recent research on the International Space Station into definitions of different sexual positions in space. For decades, researchers pondered how humans will have sex in space, and what the future of sexting will be once humans are living […] More
WASHINGTON, DC – The Space Force, the United States’ newest branch of the military, announced today that they will address the problem of illegal immigration on the southern border. In a press conference today, president Donald Trump stated that he has directed the Space Force, led by world-renowned historian and post-futurist Giorgio A. Tsoukalos, to […] More
WASHINGTON, DC – Just two weeks after announcing that he is creating a sixth branch of the military called the “Space Force,” Donald Trump announced that he is nominating Giorgio A. Tsoukalos as the Secretary of the Space Force. Tsoukalos is better known as the “Ancient Aliens” guy, a hit TV show on the History […] More
