A totally serious and completely real Biblical prophecy claims that the apocalypse will happen in December 2019, ending life as we know it on Earth once and for all.
More specifically, on December 28th.
FREAKING FINALLY. It’s about damn time. I’ve been getting pretty tired of all these wannabe apocalypse events that end up falling through. So much promise, so little payoff.
And of course, the source for this prophecy is none other than a book about a dude who may or may not have existed ~2000 years ago that was written 75 to 300 years after he died.
This piece of breaking news comes from David Montaigne, a guy who has written multiple books about the end times, and bills himself as a historian and “prophecy scholar.”
I never thought of a catastrophic apocalypse as being an opportunity to cash in with a bunch of ridiculous books. Maybe he’s on to something here.
Get our all-over print Catstronaut shirt, designed by yours truly, exclusively available in our store!
Of course, when you’re in the business of predicting the end of humanity, you’re going to have more misses than hits. Montaigne has previously claimed that the anti-Christ was going to return to Earth in June of 2016… thanks to former US president Barack Obama. Because: of course.
But we’ve known about this particular apocalyptic event since Montaigne’s 2013 blockbuster book End Times and 2019: The End of the Mayan Calendar and the Countdown to Judgement Day.
According to Montaigne, an astronomical alignment in December will create a series of events such as earthquakes, tidal waves, volcanic eruptions, and massive Sharknadoes.
Credit: Sharknado 2. (… Yes, they made more than one. They actually made six. No, I’m not joking.)
Okay, maybe Montaigne didn’t say there would be Sharknadoes. But hey, we’re dealing with a phantasmal apocalyptic event from someone with a tenuous grasp of reality, so if we’re just going to make shit up, we might as well make it interesting, right?
Montaigne makes the following claims on his website:
On December 21, 2019, survivors will experience the first day of a pole shift – when the entire surface of the planet will shift out of position and move over the more fluid layers beneath the crust.
Over the next few days this will cause earthquakes and tidal waves and volcanic activity which will almost completely destroy what is left of our civilisation.
There is a mountain of evidence in historical, geological, and biological records showing such pole shifts have happened before. Even the Bible describes them repeatedly.
I think that we will experience another pole shift for the week following December 21, 2019, getting worse each day until the natural disasters culminate on December 28 – Judgment Day.
Yes, the magnetic poles on Earth can shift. They have before, and will happen again. An article titled Magnetic Pole Reversal Happens All The (Geologic) Time by NASA explains:
Reversals are the rule, not the exception. Earth has settled in the last 20 million years into a pattern of a pole reversal about every 200,000 to 300,000 years, although it has been more than twice that long since the last reversal. A reversal happens over hundreds or thousands of years, and it is not exactly a clean back flip. Magnetic fields morph and push and pull at one another, with multiple poles emerging at odd latitudes throughout the process. Scientists estimate reversals have happened at least hundreds of times over the past three billion years. And while reversals have happened more frequently in “recent” years, when dinosaurs walked Earth a reversal was more likely to happen only about every one million years.
His recent blog post asks the question “Are My Books Being Discredited Because I’m Actually Onto Something Important?”
David, your books don’t have credit to begin with. You can’t discredit something that didn’t have credit in the first place.
Cover image credit: iStockPhoto