The Bible makes a compelling argument to be pro-choice

Christians around the country, whether they admit it or not, are using the Bible as a basis for legislation, but what if I told you the Bible is actually very pro-choice?

Last week, I wrote about how statistics show that increased access to contraceptives lowers the abortion rate.

I’ve said before that my opinion on this doesn’t really matter, but since so many other dudes are chiming in and passing laws, I guess I can also share my thoughts here.

The reason so many states are trying to pass legislation that makes the procedure illegal is because they assume that since the Supreme Court now leans conservative, at least one of the laws will be upheld. Just this week, Trump essentially admitted this himself.

These states are all passing different versions of the same law with the ultimate goal of courts upholding it. Basically, they’re throwing a bunch of ideas at the wall to see what sticks. Most of these will likely be thrown out by courts, but there’s a chance that a few will be upheld – and will serve as the template for other states to follow.

And it goes without saying that we have religion to thank for all of this. Not one conservative has made a cogent argument that hasn’t made reference to a “god” or “creator” of some kind. It’s all part of the religious right’s plan to blend church and state and create a Christian theocracy in the United States. This was eloquently demonstrated in meme format, and if it’s in a meme, you know it has to be true:

So since the primary motivator here is enforcement of their religion to the masses, I thought it would be great to go to the primary source itself – the Bible – and see what it has to say (I did something similar to this a while back, too). that the Bible is actually very much pro-choice, contrary to what our conservative friends want to believe.

What the Bible says

First, the Book of Genesis says that life begins at birth, with your first breath:

And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. (Genesis 2:7)

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Right there in Genesis, at the very beginning of the Bible, it says Adam became a “living soul” when he took his first breath (through his nose – I can only assume that he sneezed immediately afterwards since there had to be some leftover dust up in there).

Then there’s Psalm 137:

Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks. (Psalm 137:9)

Smash ’em all.

Image result for smash those kids gif

Next, my favorite book from the Bible teaches us that life is, in fact, not sacred:

However, if you do not obey the Lord your God and do not carefully follow all his commands and decrees I am giving you today, all these curses will come on you and overtake you:

You will be cursed in the city and cursed in the country.

Your basket and your kneading trough will be cursed.

The fruit of your womb will be cursed, and the crops of your land, and the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks.

You will be cursed when you come in and cursed when you go out.

The Lord will send on you curses, confusion and rebuke in everything you put your hand to, until you are destroyed and come to sudden ruin because of the evil you have done in forsaking him.The Lord will plague you with diseases until he has destroyed you from the land you are entering to possessThe Lord will strike you with wasting disease, with fever and inflammation, with scorching heat and drought, with blight and mildew, which will plague you until you perish. The sky over your head will be bronze, the ground beneath you iron. The Lord will turn the rain of your country into dust and powder; it will come down from the skies until you are destroyed. (Deuteronomy 28:15-24)

The emphasis is mine, but with friends like this god, who needs enemies?

angry god the bible

That’s a level of pettiness that I can get down with tbh.

Then there’s this passage in the Bible from Numbers that says the Christian god can abort a fetus if he feels like aborting it:

“Speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘If a man’s wife goes astray and is unfaithful to him so that another man has sexual relations with her, and this is hidden from her husband and her impurity is undetected (since there is no witness against her and she has not been caught in the act), and if feelings of jealousy come over her husband and he suspects his wife and she is impure—or if he is jealous and suspects her even though she is not impure— then he is to take his wife to the priest.

(blah blah blah…)

Then the priest shall put the woman under oath and say to her, “If no other man has had sexual relations with you and you have not gone astray and become impure while married to your husband, may this bitter water that brings a curse not harm you. But if you have gone astray while married to your husband and you have made yourself impure by having sexual relations with a man other than your husband”— here the priest is to put the woman under this curse—“may the Lord cause you to become a curse among your people when he makes your womb miscarry and your abdomen swell. May this water that brings a curse enter your body so that your abdomen swells or your womb miscarries.” (Numbers 5:12-22)

So as you can see, it’s okay for the Christian god to abort babies because they were conceived through adultery. Makes sense.

Then there’s the passage in Isaiah where it’s said that the Christian god, in his infinite wisdom, will allow the mass murder, infanticide, and rape of countless people:

And it shall be as the chased roe, and as a sheep that no man taketh up: they shall every man turn to his own people, and flee every one into his own land.

Every one that is found shall be thrust through; and every one that is joined unto them shall fall by the sword.

Their children also shall be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses shall be spoiled, and their wives ravished. (Isaiah 13:14-16)


And then there’s this part in Hosea that I desperately want to rhyme, but doesn’t for some reason, despite their weird formatting on it:

“When I found Israel,
it was like finding grapes in the desert;
when I saw your ancestors,
it was like seeing the early fruit on the fig tree.
But when they came to Baal Peor,
they consecrated themselves to that shameful idol
and became as vile as the thing they loved.
Ephraim’s glory will fly away like a bird—
no birth, no pregnancy, no conception.
Even if they rear children,
I will bereave them of every one.
Woe to them
when I turn away from them!
I have seen Ephraim,like Tyre,
planted in a pleasant place.
But Ephraim will bring out
their children to the slayer.”
Give them,Lord—
what will you give them?
Give them wombs that miscarry
and breasts that are dry.
Because of all their wickedness in Gilgal,
I hated them there.
Because of their sinful deeds,
I will drive them out of my house.
I will no longer love them;
all their leaders are rebellious.
Ephraim is blighted,
their root is withered,
they yield no fruit.
Even if they bear children,
I will slay their cherished offspring.”
My God will reject them
because they have not obeyed
they will be wanderers among the nations. (Hosea 9:10-17)

Ezekiel also has some fun passages:

Slaughter the old men, the young men and women, the mothers and children, but do not touch anyone who has the mark. Begin at my sanctuary.” So they began with the old men who were in front of the temple. (Ezekiel 9:6)

Mass murder is a pretty popular pastime in the Bible.

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And dipping back into Hosea a little later on when God gets upset with Israel:

“I will have no compassion,
even though he thrives among his brothers.
Lord will come,
blowing in from the desert;
his spring will fail
and his well dry up.
His storehouse will be plundered
of all its treasures.
The people of Samaria must bear their guilt,
because they have rebelled against their God.
They will fall by the sword;
their little ones will be dashed to the ground,
their pregnant women ripped open.” (Hosea 13:15-16)

I can already hear the cries from Christian apologists – “tHAt’S FrOm ThE oLd TeStaMeNt!!!11!”

And that’s true. These are all from the Old Testament.

But I’m willing to bet that if you ask any Good Christian™ if the Ten Commandments are important and relevant today, almost all of them will say they are. Inconveniently for them, the Ten Commandments are from the Old Testament (Exodus 20, to be specific). And when it comes to holy books, you can’t pick and choose which parts are important and should be followed and which parts shouldn’t be followed. It’s all-or-nothing, by their own definition.

It’s almost as if these books weren’t written by an all-knowing, all-powerful god, right?




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