If there’s anything I’ve learned while running this website, it’s that people will buy pretty much anything, and for the most ridiculous of reasons. People willingly pay someone $135 so they can put coffee in their ass. People even buy water bottles that have pretty-looking rocks inside them. And women have happily bought wasp nests to put inside their vaginas, because: reasons.
But never did I ever expect people to actually buy “hot dog water” for supposed medicinal benefits. And neither did Douglas Bevans, the man who created the product. But what Bevans and I forgot is that this is 2018, and reality is a social construct.
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Bevans created the product as a joke to try to highlight the nefarious claims made by would-be “health experts” who sell them. Think things like “appetite suppressing” lollipops or tanning beds sold with the promise of not causing cancer that end up causing cancer because that’s how UV radiation works (you lying liar).
— Nate (@BarstoolNate) June 20, 2018
Bevans even said that the product was made by ‘a lot of people with backgrounds in science,’ so you know it has to be true, right? Right. The Hot Dog Water CEO told Global News:
We’ve created a recipe, having a lot of people put a lot of effort into research and a lot of people with backgrounds in science really creating the best version of Hot Dog Water that we could.
This booth that sells unfiltered hot dog water is hands down the strangest thing at Car-Free day, and I have no idea – literally none – as to whether it is real or an elaborate stunt pic.twitter.com/NK2KcTfnHm
— Moebius Stripper (@moebius_strip) June 17, 2018
Bevans also added:
There’s a fair bit of it that is too science-y for me, but from what I understand from the specialists here working on it, it’s this idea of like-likes-like.
The product hit on every all-natural, 100% organic cylinder, too:
“Keto compatible – lose weight – increase brain function – look younger – increase vitality.” It’s even “home brewed”, giving it that special artisan feel. Because nothing says “quality” like something made in a random person’s kitchen.
Unfiltered, just like mom used to make.
And just like any great pseudoscientific product, it includes a list of testimonials, because who needs facts and evidence when you can listen to how people feel about things?
The only thing missing from the sign was gluten-free. Because everybody knows gluten makes your dick fly off.
The point of the stunt was to bring attention to how people will believe ridiculous things without first exercising even the slightest bit of skepticism or critical thinking, because they want to believe it’s true.
But instead, people actually bought it.
Yes, people bought a $38 glass of water containing a hot dog. It reminds me of this scene from Arrested Development:
“It’s really sort of a commentary on product marketing, and especially sort of health-quackery product marketing,” Bevans told Global News. “From the responses, I think people will actually go away and reconsider some of these other $80 bottles of water that will come out that are ‘raw’ or ‘smart waters,’ or anything that doesn’t have any substantial scientific backing but just a lot of pretty impressive marketing.”
The Hot Dog Water CEO (a tittle I’m jealous I didn’t think of first) said that he spent about $1200 on the project. That’s a fantastic commitment to the gag.
To their credit, some people instantly understood that it was a joke. But others were confused by it, and some people did actually buy it to drink. “They’ve been drinking it for hours,” he said. “We have gone through about 60 liters of real hot dog water.”
Gross. But, I’d rather drink water with a hot dog in it rather than put coffee in my ass, I guess.