If it’s 2018 and you’re still surprised by American Christendom’s ability to hold super paradoxical beliefs — some would call that “hypocrisy” if they weren’t in the same charitable mood I am — you might not be paying that much attention. It’s no big secret that the Religious Right can be quite hilariously conflicted on issues like being “pro-life” except for the whole “life” part after the fetus is born, or being told by the Bible to be the stewards of all God’s creation but voting for politicians who want to “Drill, Baby, drill!” However, all that pales in comparison to when white evangelicals get their white nationalism on…especially around Christmas time.
Supporting Donald Trump’s Christmastime government shut down over border wall funding is the definition of “Hypocritical Christian.” But taking it to the next level and paying out of your own pocket to donate to the GoFundMe for a border wall is Peak Hypocritical Christian.
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The Nativity is pretty much a story of desperate people looking for a welcoming in a strange land. Christ’s birth — which is the mythology upon which Christians insist we build all our holiday traditions — is literally a parable about being charitable and kind to people when they need it most. Yet, when the president decides his border wall, which would be a testament to the exact opposite meaning of the birth story, is a cause worthy to close the government down over, the Religious right brays like jackasses and cheers their philandering, sexual predator leader. Then they whip out their checkbooks and instead of donating to, oh, I don’t know…a CHURCH that helps refugees in the name of Jesus, they give money to some d-bag’s crowdfunding campaign with no guarantee it’ll actually be used to build the wall anway.
It’d be infuriating if there wasn’t so much eggnog and Christmas legal recreational weed (What? It’s a thing in cool states.) to make it more palatable. Well, that and these awesome tweets that lay down just the right amount of sass and sarcasm.
15. “Shame on all of you.”
I can’t get over the fact that “Christians” in the Christmas season are giving money to build a Wall to keep out refugees escaping war instead of using that money to feed them.
Christ was very specific about this. Shame on all of you.
— Mikel Jollett (@Mikel_Jollett) December 20, 2018
14. Even Other Christians Are Like, “Nah, Brah.”
This is an ungodly wall, being pushed by an ungodly man, for deeply ungodly reasons, and we must make it clear that we as Christians will never allow it to be built on our watch. https://t.co/DjEvtalRJH
— Sojourners (@Sojourners) December 21, 2018
13. Like I said, the Nativity is literally about this stuff…
Hey Christian trump supporters, do you really feel like Jesus is on the side of building a border wall considering if Egypt had one before he was born, Herod would have murdered him right after he was born? 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️#WWJD
— James Hodge (@jamesbhodge) December 21, 2018
12. “Buy a damn robot dog for THEMSELVES…”
Things Christians could do more in keeping with the spirit of the season than trying to finance a wall to keep refugees out
1) Donate to help refugees
2) Donate to their own community
3) Buy presents for family
4) Buy a damn robot dog for THEMSELVES because the answer is ANYTHING
— Jennifer Wright (@JenAshleyWright) December 20, 2018
11. What if Heaven had a border wall and they couldn’t get over it?
The same Evangelicals donating to #GoFundTheWall are the same “Christians” who claim to follow Jesus…
The one who said care for the sick, feed the hungry, and house the poor.
Wouldn’t they be surprised if Heaven had a wall and only allowed in those who demonstrated His love?
— TOᑭ ᖇOᑭE TᖇAViS (@TopRopeTravis) December 20, 2018
10. “Our country is grotesque.”
Our country is grotesque. Politicians will spend billions on an ineffective border wall, gave billions in tax cuts to the uber wealthy, and to find the money, are kicking 700,000 people off food stamps right before Christmas.
Stop saying we’re a Christian nation, we are ghouls.
— beth, an alien® (@bourgeoisalien) December 21, 2018
9. That’s not a Venn. That’s a circle.
I’d love to see the Venn diagram of the people who contributed to the Wall and those that give to Pat Robertson and other huckster evangelists. Nothing says God’s love like Christians who hate immigrants.
— adrian lopez (@ALoAllDay) December 20, 2018
8. If Jesus were like Mr. Burns, but you know, a good guy.
*Evangelical Christian dies*
Jesus: How did you help humanity?
Evangelical: I gave money to build a wall to keep brown people out and supported the GOP which caused poor people to not have access to food and medical care.
Jesus: *hits button on desk opening trapdoor to hell*
— beth, an alien® (@bourgeoisalien) December 21, 2018
7. When you need to wash down your theocratic xenophobia with cheap capitalism.
— Lars McMurtry (@larsmcmurtry) December 20, 2018
6. Definitely not the wise ones.
Building a wall…just in time for the holiday all these Christians follow about their Savior prevailing in spite of being locked out and turned away…interesting. I hope they know if they supported this they’re the inns who turned Joseph and Mary away not the Wise Men
— Cait Anderson (@caitandersonn) December 21, 2018
5. What, you think they read those Bible things?
— Norman Golightly (@NormanGolightly) December 21, 2018
4. We just went over this with the last tweet.
— Iwishyouwould (@gerardinho9) December 21, 2018
3. Going into debt to own the libs and anger your God.
It’s a little unsettling, if not a bit amusing, that so-called “Christians” are giving money, in some cases money they don’t have, to build a racist wall to keep out refugees escaping war and violence instead of… https://t.co/CLvI6vxOUN
— Steven Luttrell (@swluttrell) December 21, 2018
2. Where’s the lie, though?
If you believe the best way for us to spend one billion dollars is to build a wall, then you are not a Christian. You obviously haven’t read Matthew chapter 25. We could really take that billion and spend it on all the homeless vets. #GovernmentShutdown
— Dash (@Tweet_4Jesus) December 20, 2018
1. Yeah, we’re way past that now.
There’s something inherently wrong about amping up the drumbeat for a border wall during the runup to Christmas… when the Christian faith is supposed to be focusing on love and goodwill. I would say that it’s irony, but we blew past that stop several exits back.
— Devin Pike (@justdevin) December 20, 2018
Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook and Instagram, but not Twitter because he has a potty mouth.