Fisher-Price announces their new product: ‘My First Prison Camp’

EAST AURORA, NY – Global toy company Fisher-Price announced today that they have created a new product that they’re creatively calling “My First Prison Camp.”

The miniature internment camp comes in three colors: Cream, Espresso, and Cool Gray. Its features include indoor/outdoor versatility, as it has reversible legs that have the option of adding stakes to keep it securely in place if placed outdoors. The camp itself is rather spacious for a toddler: the camp is over 18 square feet and is 28 inches tall.

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Some political pundits have asked: “is it TOO spacious for toddlers?”

The camp is also easily transported from location to location to give your toddler a real feel for life as an unlawfully detained citizen: the gate folds quickly so you can move your little tyke from undisclosed location to undisclosed location quicker than Dick Cheney can say “waterboarding isn’t torture.” And since it has no tools required for assembly, you don’t have to worry about losing a wrench or a potential uprising from unruly inmates at the camp.

You can find “My First Prison Camp” on sale now for just $64.99.

The announcement came in the form of a Twitter post:

Fisher-Price’s creative director, Jonathan Adler, had this to say about the controversial new product:

We’ve been paying attention to the news, and if there’s one thing we’ve learned in our nearly 90 years of business, it’s that we have to keep up with the latest trends. As the great philosopher Richard Bobby once said – If you’re not first, you’re last. And that’s always been our goal here at Fisher-Price: to be first. It takes a comprehensive, holistic approach to stay ahead of the curve, and that’s what we think we’re doing here. We saw the outrage from President Trump’s recent border policies. We reflected on the history of interment camps. We reflected on internment camps in Germany and the United States in the 1940s. And we really think this is the right move for us.

He added:

What better way to help train children who have done nothing wrong to be detained for indefinite periods of time?

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Written by Dan Broadbent

Science Enthusiast. Atheist. Lover of cats.

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