Despite church burning down, Fox News focuses on preserved painting of Jesus

God works in mysterious ways™.

At least that’s what Christians always tell us. Famine? Poverty? Childhood cancer? All mysterious works of God. And who are we to question an all-powerful creator who chooses to spend his time senselessly killing the very things he’s created? I mean, we’ve all played SimCity or The Simsand if you didn’t cause disasters or trap people in rooms without doors or take the ladder out of a pool just to watch your Sim die, then I question your sanity.

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So really, it makes sense that God would do awful things to people. After all, after billions of years, the dude gets bored sometimes. So why not burn down a 150 year old church now and then?

Well, that’s precisely what he did. In his infinite wisdom, God struck the First Baptist Church with lightning and it burned to the ground.

That is to say, it burned to the ground with the exception of one thing: a painting of Jesus H Christ himself. (I assume his middle name is “Herbert.”)

It’s a miracle! At least according to Fox News.

A lightning strike reportedly ignited a massive inferno Tuesday night at the 150-year-old First Baptist Church in Wakefield, Massachusetts, destroying almost everything inside — but amid the rubble, crews miraculously found one painting survived the hellish flames.

A painting depicting Jesus Christ — standing in a white robe with hands, bearing the marks of crucifixion, extended — survived nearly untouched with only a few drops of water on it. The painting hung just inside the church’s front doors.

“It’s a beautiful sign of hope and a reminder that Jesus is with us,” church member Maria Kakolowski told Boston 25. “I am personally just taking it as a sign and a reminder that the Jesus, the Christ that we serve is still alive and even though our church building is gone, our church is here. The God that we serve is still here.”

This “logic” blows me away. And it’s nothing new. A church sustained massive damage in the wake of Hurricane Michael a couple weeks ago. However, the cross on top of the church – an object that is basically a pole and therefore is the most aerodynamic part of the church – made it through unscathed. Hallelujah!

We’ll just ignore that the hurricane caused billions in damage, and killed many people. What’s important is the damn cross.

And in 2014, a wildfire that scorched 1700 acres of land, and just happened to miss a cross on top of a hill, was also viewed as a sign from God saying “hey, I can cause a completely ridiculous amount of unnecessary trauma on you but thanks for the cross.” (We’ll just ignore the fact that there are still trees on top of the damn mountain.)

The point is, when you base your beliefs in something that is not true, it makes it significantly easier to forgo logical explanations to events that are demonstrably not supernatural in origin. When you invite fantasy into your life, it makes it that much more difficult to acknowledge reality.

h/t Friendly Atheist, cover image via

Written by Dan Broadbent

Science Enthusiast. Atheist. Lover of cats.

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